the unthinkable amanda ripley sparknotes

It’s “the nuclear bomb of the emotions,” as the psychologist Evelin Lindner puts it. Humiliation is the most powerful, under-appreciated force in any conflict you can think of-politics, international relations, gang violence, even homeowner association disputes. Why do some conflicts stay manageable while others implode? It turns out humiliation plays an outsized role. Humiliation is the nuclear bomb of the emotions. Decades of research have shown that the problem with conflict is not the friction the problem is high conflict, the kind that paralyzes us, blinds us to opportunities, and eventually makes us act against the causes we care most about. That’s the kind of conflict that can be heated and stressful, but actually goes somewhere worth going. You just have to turn high conflict into good conflict. High conflict is invisible, but like gravity, it exerts a pull on everything else-and anything you do to try to end high conflict usually makes it worse.īut there’s no need to lose hope-you don’t have to give up or change your mind or stop fighting for what’s right. As the original facts that led to the dispute fade into the background, replaced by an us-versus-them dynamic, the conflict becomes its own reality. These days, we see a lot of high conflict-the kind of conflict that takes on a life of its own, the kind that starts small but quickly becomes all-consuming.

Download the Next Big Idea App to listen to the audio version-read by Amanda herself-and enjoy Ideas of the Day, ad-free podcast episodes, and more. She writes for The Atlantic, Politico, the Washington Post, the New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal, among other publications.īelow, Amanda shares 5 key insights from her new book, High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out (available now from Amazon). Amanda Ripley is an investigative journalist and the New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Kids in the World and The Unthinkable.

The unthinkable amanda ripley sparknotes